What do you think of the show not having the purple wedding this season? Much of this season felt like filler to me, empty and unsatisfying, and some show only fans that I speak to are confused as to where the show is going or why they should keep watching after RW, which makes me feel like the show’s pacing is a mistake with ASOS cut in two. How do you think a year’s delay will affect the PW, in terms of the show and GRRM’s overall story, since we had PW in the same book as RW?
Hmm, I’m not sure. I was really hoping that with twice as many hours to use for this book we’d get expanded characterization — but instead they filled it with meandering new subplots with little purpose and still managed to cut down Cat’s scenes to nearly nothing. (And while tbf Sansa was much better treated time-wise this season, she was also unfortunately still shafted characterization-wise.)
But even before it wasn’t confirmed ASOS was going to be split, even before s4 was contracted, I thought they’d end s3 with the RW. That sort of “betrayal” and of loss of faith is necessary, I think, a test almost. That’s the point where you know whether you’re a fan or not, whether you keep going. If s4 hadn’t already been contracted, I’m sure fan demand after e9 would have made it happen. And I think if HBO is smart, they’ll start teaser promos early, with the threat of revenge, etc. Because while I know GRRM is critical of the idea of vengeance, I also know the thought of it is a great motivator.
Though my BF is generally critical of the PW (he’s critical of ASOIAF in general mind you) and I think his opinions are a good way for how a non-reader would see the scene. I forget his exact words, but when I explained what went down, it was something like,
why fall in love when you can fall asleep
Rocky once again trying to convince himself that he is in fact a lap dog.
I WANNA CUDDLE HIM FOREVER
this picture made all of my problems go away
i love how on tumblr there are people who agree with things and people who disagree with things but the only thing we all agree on is that leonardo dicaprio deserves an oscar
I don’t care if he wins best supporting actress just let him win one already.
One: Buy condoms. Buy them and keep them with you at all times, and use them before you are asked to use them. And use them every time. The peace of mind you allow your partner will free her to be vulnerable with you, and that, my son, is exactly what sex is about. Condoms are sexy. In fact, call buying condoms foreplay.
(Footnote: If you are too embarrassed to buy condoms, you are not ready to have sex.)
Two: Kissing is not merely foreplay. Spend entire evenings making out on the couch while fully clothed. Believe me, dry-humping rocks.
Three: Sex is not just about friction. It’s about emotion. Stop trying to find her clitoris and find her heart. Because then she’ll help you find her clitoris.
Four: If you really wanna know how to please a woman, ask her how she masturbates. Then do that. A lot. If she claims she doesn’t masturbate, offer to take her shopping for a vibrator so you can both learn the vocabulary of her body together.
Five: Don’t put anything in her butthole you wouldn’t want in your own.
(Footnote: Try a pinky finger, it’s kinda awesome.)
Six: When you go down on her—and you will go down on her, and if you are my son, you will be amazing at it—tell her how good she tastes. Stop in the middle and kiss her deeply so she knows how good she tastes. Do the same when she goes down on you.
Seven: A simple Google search will yield 1,327 euphemisms for male masturbation, yet only 23 for female masturbation. If guys spent less time jacking off and more time jilling off, this world would be a happier place.
Eight: Everything you need to know about the importance of the clitoris is in the movie Star Wars. You are Luke Skywalker piloting your penis-shaped X-Wing Fighter deep inside her trench. Remember: seventy percent of all Death Stars cannot be blown up through penetration of the trench alone. It must be through focused contact with that little exhaust port at the top of the trench. Otherwise, any explosions you experience will be merely Hollywood special effects.
Nine: Just because you come doesn’t mean she has, so don’t you dare come before her. Focus completely on your partner. Don’t worry about gettin’ yours, you’re a guy. You always get yours. Your job is to make sure she’s gettin’ hers.
Ten: If sex with your partner lasts no longer than this poem, you are not making love. You are masturbating with her body instead of your hand. Shame on you. Go back to step one. You’ve got a lot of learning to do.
“If You Know Someone Who Doesn’t Believe Sexism Exists, Show Them This”
Link here: [x]
the fuckING PENCIL SHARPENER ONE
BRILLIANT THANK YOU
Want to collaborate on a Google Doc with Nietzsche, Shakespeare, Dostoyevsky, Dickinson, Dickens and Poe?
Click here. Start typing. Enjoy the hilarity.
Ninja Update: Wanna see something fun? Mention Shakespeare in a sentence and see what happens.
Poe kept writing distinctly into my sentences so I wrote ”Edgar, you’re not funny” aND HE BLATANTLY DELETED THE NOT I AM SO DONE WITH THIS ASDFKJL
OH GOD IF YOU TYPE “EDGAR ALLAN POE” POE ADDS A :( AFTER HIS NAME PRECIOUS BABY
Poe kept interrupting my sentences, so I wrote, “Edgar are you fucking kidding me?” and Shakespeare replaced “fucking” with “hay rolling”
Emily Dickinson and Charles Dickens will fight if you put the word “Dickens” in the doc.
I am done.
Poe kept changing words so the sentences no longer made sense so I wrote “bitch please” and Shakespeare corrected it to, “qualling harpy please”
i started with the Bohemian Rhapsody and let me tell you i was not disappointed
i wrote dickinson and shakespeare wrote how her body was awesome and emily rewrote it to be how her mind was awesome.
okay so I just wanted to fuck around so I wrote “Once upon a time, Shakespeare and Poe fell in love.”
and Shakespeare corrected it to say ”Once upon a time, the handsome and lovely Shakespeare and Poe fell in love.”
and then poe corrected it to say “Once upon a time, the dreadful and lonely Shakespeare and Poe fell in love.”
Still one of my favorite Amnesia videos.
OH SHIT I GOT A BAG OF MILKY WAYS
I’ve played Amnesia and I can confirm, you will always scream when the bro comes after you
Happy 41st birthday, John Cho!
Finally, eyeshadow for people who aren’t sissy girly babies who pee in their diapers.
I dunno… I still think little kids are evil and dangerous no matter how you raise them. Frankly, they scare me and I’m not opposed to banning children across the world outright. Maybe we should just stick to cats and dogs after all, they’re much safer, more loyal, less expensive and just all around better.
those feelings when you want a relationship
but you don’t
but you do
but you don’t